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Forever

February 27, 2013

He sighed and pressed his forehead to the cool windowpane. Warm morning sunlight enveloped his still form, tenderly touching the rough fingers splayed against the glass above his head. Slowly the sunlight trailed down the muscles of his arm to caress his chest, drying the last drops of water that remained from his early morning shower.

He closed his eyes against the light and allowed his senses to explore the sensations flooding through his body.

He could feel warmth pricking at his eyelids, seducing him, tempting him to open his eyes and gaze out onto the beach in the distance but he resisted its siren call. He could feel the steady drip of water from the back of his neck, falling in slow beats from glistening blond tipped hair. He felt a single drop escape his fringe to run slowly, silkily down his forehead, over a smooth just shaved chin to lose itself among the soft damp hairs sprinkled across his chest. Water rolled in thin rivulets along his spine sending tingles throughout his form and raising goosebumps on his tanned flesh. It came to a stop at his hips soaking into the waistband of low slung jeans. The glass was smooth, perfect and cool under his fingertips and the carpet warm and soft under his naked feet. He curled his toes deeper into the thick pile reveling in the safety of home it inspired.

Not a wisp of air moved in the overheated apartment. Not around his still form, nor from his soft lips. With his breath held in his lungs, he could hear the sound of the traffic on the street below, the chatter of pedestrians and the cry of hungry seagulls overhead.

With an imperceptible sigh he gently released the air held captive within his chest, feeling it leave his throat in a warm steady flow, feeling the muscles contract within his stomach and his throat expand. He relished the sensation of being completely empty inside, devoid of any life, a feeling of total nothingness throughout his limbs before his body once again wrested control from his mind and forced his mouth and lungs to steal another breath of air. To take the essence of life itself deep inside, feeling his chest expand with its force. He felt possessed, full, contented, satiated but ultimately out of control. Giving himself over to another breath he understood this was something he couldn’t fight. Like the way he couldn’t fight the blood that pounded through his veins and throbbed deep within his head, his heart and his ears. It beat out the rhythm of his lies, reminding him by its very ebb and flow of what he was, that he existed in this life. That he lived.

He lowered his head and opened his eyes. No longer was the morning sunlight warm and forgiving, now it was harsh, cruelly exposing every fear, penetrating his eyes, blinding his sight, biting down on his flesh. He stared out onto the street below. Searching for the one who filled his mind when he was alone in the dark,  in a crowded room lit by spotlights, when he was drunk and out of his mind and everything was a haze, when he remembered nothing but a blur. She filled his heart with every breath he took and every caress of the sun was her gaze running over his body, every drop of moisture was the touch of her hand and every gust of wind was her voice whispering his name.

He started to turn away but a flash of dark hair and pale skin caught his eye. He turned back and stared down into the crowd. There it was again. She had come. He reached out a hand to touch the glass. His fingers coming so close to where she stood, he imagined he could simply reach through the translucent barrier to touch her soft shoulder or tangle his hands through her silky hair. Imagined dragging her close to his trembling body and inhaling the sweet scent of her, to have her trembling beneath him as he arched possessively above her.

“Darling, I’m going now. I should be back before dark.”

He turned and smiled at the blond beauty now standing in the doorway before him. Reaching down with one shaking hand he picked up the long glass sitting on the windowsill. Clear water shimmered in the bright sunshine. Condensation dripped from the base and fell onto his toes. Raising the glass to his lips, he swallowed the cool liquid, needing its moisture to cool his overheated body and dampen his suddenly dry throat.

She walked seductively towards him and kissed him passionately. Drawing away she ran fingers through his damp hair and over his powerful body. He smiled again as she whispered her goodbyes and swayed from the room.

Quickly he turned back to the window.

The dark haired angel of his soul was there on the sidewalk below. She stared up at him and momentarily their eyes locked. But she broke their shared embrace and turned away. He remained there, motionless, watching her disappear into the distance. He stood there long after she had gone, sipping slowly from his glass and watching the sun vanish overhead. He allowed his thoughts to wander. He hoped she would return – as she often did. He would be waiting here when she came past, if not today then surely she would return tomorrow.

 

 

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2 Comments
  1. Very nice! So evocative! Love it! 🙂

    • Thanks! i have to say this is probably my favourite piece and haha i think of a different guy every time i read it!! hahahha

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