My Life as a Magician PA – my story prompt response

Story Prompt – theMAA “Open any book and pick a sentence to draw inspiration from”

this is my response – a snippet of a longer story – maybe…

My Life as a Magician PA

Well this is a fantastic end to a sucky day!

My thoughts were filled with heavy sarcasm as I ran my hands along the wall in front of me. It was dark and I couldn’t see all that well but as I ran my fingers across the panelling I could feel the wood grain beneath my fingertips – what I couldn’t feel was the seal. Yes, Magician extraordinaire, top of my class – Dux even and oh yes wasn’t I proud of that one. Yes, best of the best of my generation and here I was, stuck in a closet. I quite often spoke to myself sarcastically. I wasn’t a pessimist, oh no, but let’s face it, more often than not I ended up in situations just like this one through no fault of my own and I drew comfort from my own snark. Last week it was the dragon alley brawl, the week before last was the troll hunter bridge game and now, now this.

I sighed sadly, I was never going to live this down. Or maybe – to put a more positive spin on my situation, maybe this would make a great drinking story. I shook my head in despair. Nope – I was just going to look like a high class fool. If anyone found out. And why wouldn’t people find out? I was not going to get out of here without help from the outside. It was a magical closet. Because, only I could get myself locked in a magical closet. To be fair, I didn’t realise it was a magical closet when I came in here. And I was only in here in the first place to avoid the Royal guards currently searching the room outside. They were looking for me. They thought I’d stolen something valuable. I fingered the purple diamond hanging from my neck. Okay, yes I had stolen something valuable but I hadn’t meant too.

I should probably tell you how I got myself into this situation.

We need to go back to last night.

I was at home, relaxing after a nice hot bath and catching up on The Voice on telly. I was eating a giant bowl of chocolate and lemon ice swirl (it’s not as gross as it sounds) and just in general pretending it was not a Sunday night and that I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow.

I’m a magician PA to a magician detective. And it is nowhere near as fun as it sounded in the job application. I thought I’d be applying for a role of dangerous and daring do assistant to a brilliant detective, assisting him with sneaky investigations into the dark underworld of crime and thievery. Instead, I make coffee and type invoices. Boring! And my boss, oh my god, my boss is an idiot. You have no idea the amount of work I have undertaken to hide that fact from the local police inspector.

My boss is the kind of man who thinks he is brilliant – but he’s not. His spells are absolutely awful. I even had to fix the disguise spell he used last week, a disguise spell, probably the easiest spell in the handbook and I had to fix it. He’d cast a spell to hide his appearance and instead hid himself from himself – but everyone else could see him plain as day.

Somehow I’d managed to convince him to walk through the kitchen doorway – the door that I’d spelled to reverse any spell he cast, before he headed out. But it was touch and go at the time.

Sigh, I really need a new job.

So, how did I get here? Well… last night, as I was nice and warm and relaxed, I received this text message on my phone. Oh, I’m sure you already know that whole fallacy about magicians and technology right? Yup – total baloney, but it was a good trick that mundanes believed and it made it easier to hide in plain sight if you could sit in a coffee shop playing candy crush on your mobile phone while casting spells on your mark (or your boss). That and we use cameras a lot. So if it were a true fact that magicians couldn’t use technology without blowing stuff up it would just make our lives so much harder. Sorry, I’m drifting again.

So I got a text from my boss.

He was on a stakeout at Jessie Park and he needed a bathroom break, could I come and help him out?

Sigh. I went of course, he was my boss after all and if he didn’t get paid then I didn’t get paid and I’m saving up for a new car, so I needed to get paid.

Going was my first mistake of the night.

 

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