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The Safe House (Friday Fictioneers)

December 18, 2015

kitchen-window

The safe house was old, ratty curtains over plain glass windows. Paint everywhere she looked. How could this house be safe?

“You’ll be kept here for several weeks.”

“Weeks?”

“Officers Roberts and Sanchez are my best men. They keep you safe as long as you follow orders. Stay inside. Stay away from the windows.”

She glanced at the men. They looked serious and intent.

The lead officer took pity on her. “It will not be for long. We will catch him.”

They hadn’t caught him yet. It had been weeks already. She nodded and sat down to wait.

 

This is a Friday Fictioneers prompt

word count: 98

 

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27 Comments
  1. Good tension here. I’m waiting for the rest if the story!

  2. Of the story Grrrrr auto correct Hate it

    • Grrrr autocorrect indeed! And thank you, it’s hard creating tension in such a short piece, it’s great practice.

  3. Dear Solo,

    I agree with Tracey. A good build of tension and a unique take on the prompt. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  4. You’ve built the mood excellently.
    I read it twice because I enjoyed the fact that you didn’t tell me how she felt, but you made me feel it.
    That’s good writing.

    Randy

  5. Good build of tension here – leaves you wanting more.

  6. It’s been said already….good build up..grabs my interest.

    Lily

  7. Great take! And how tempting it would be not to look out this huge window. I envision her seeing him out there now, but I hope not. Nicely written.

  8. Great to build that tension… I already see his shadow on the mist.

  9. A great start – sets the mood perfectly.

  10. You’ve covered a lot of territory in your hundred words. I feel her frustration and fear.

  11. Definitely not a easy feeling … good tension and lack of resolution. Best holiday wishes to you.

  12. Great pacing and tension building – it feels more than it says which is great skill! nice

  13. Grabbed me from the first sentence! Look forward to reading more,

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