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Neverending (Friday Fictioneers)

May 26, 2016

Warning: This one’s a little dark.

 

waves

 

He sat and stared as each wave crested and threw itself thoughtlessly upon the sand. He wondered, did it feel pain? Did it hurt to pound oneself against the sand time and again, never stopping, never breaking, just on and on, always and forever.

His head hurt, probably too much wine last night. He didn’t care.

Nothing mattered.

Not now.

Not ever.

Did it hurt, he wondered? Knowing it was coming. Inevitable and unending.

Forever.

Every footstep washed away. There was no sign anyone had ever been here.

Was that all he was now? One washed away footstep?

Nothing mattered.

 

 

This is a Friday Fictioneers prompt

 

Word count: 100

 

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38 Comments
  1. Ooooo, hate to like that one, so depressing. Good write, though.

  2. I like the imagery and how he talks about the foot steps being washed away without a trace…like his life?

  3. michael1148humphris permalink

    Washed away, never. So much pain is left behind.

  4. This is great in its depressing mood. It’s probably too late for him to experience the calming and powerful effect of the waves.

  5. Good line “Was that all he was now? One washed away footstep?” Very sad.

  6. Such a sad, sad tale!

    That image you conjured up here – “Every footstep washed away. There was no sign anyone had ever been here.

    Was that all he was now? One washed away footstep?” – is very powerful and depressing.

    Well-written story!

  7. I loved the “washed away footstep” metaphor. The imagery it evokes it very powerful, sad and wise all at the same time.

  8. Dear Laurie,

    His feelings of desolation are tangible. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  9. This is sad but really moving, well done great piece xx

  10. Now if this isn’t a dark moment. I’m hoping he has some glimmer of hope soon. Well done, Laurie.

  11. The ocean is so powerful and so endless – the feelings in your story are right on target. One can feel invisible and purposeless by the ocean. I love your images and atmosphere here. Spot on.

  12. Its not dark!
    Its fine description of the state of mind.
    My sentiments about the sea too – does it hurt?
    Nice!

  13. A strong piece on a troubled/weary mind.

  14. This reminds me of my years of adolescent depression. I used to walk along the seafront to watch the waves.

  15. Your intro warning was right, this is very dark. But well written and the imagery of the footsteps is clever. We feel the narrator’s pain and troubles clearly, well done.

  16. You showed the depth of his desolation very well. He is trapped in a very dark place there

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