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Just one more (Friday Fictioneers)

October 27, 2016


The footbridge stretched out before him. Spray-painted fence along either side wavered in his vision. He stumbled, tripping over his own feet and slammed into the unforgiving palings. Stomach roiling he bounced from one side to the other. At least he was moving forward. The sky changed from black to grey in an instant. He realised he was lying on the ground when he rolled and face-planted his nose into the cold concrete. When had he sat down? Prising his eyes open the sky was blue. Huh, better get home.

After work drinks appeared to have been a roaring success.


The is a Friday Fictioneers prompt

word count: 100



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  1. Hahaha, what a great last line, actually made me laugh out loud. Excellent πŸ™‚

  2. This made me chuckle – great take on the prompt!

  3. Dear Laurie,

    It sounds like he’s one who needs to beg off the after work drinks. Good one!



  4. gahlearner permalink

    That must have been some party. I like how time passes for him, how the sky changes colours, how he finds himself stumbling, falling, sitting–the disorientation comes through loud and clear.

  5. Ha ha ha. Know the feeling. πŸ˜€

  6. Fun! I was hoping that was the reason for the mess he was in. Brilliant.

  7. Dale permalink

    Lordy! What some people consider a success! πŸ˜€
    Hilarious piece!

  8. Tricky. Very misleading. Good!😊

  9. Great fun, I can empathise with him a little

  10. ha ha. I was not expecting the ending. Good job of keeping the suspense until the end.

  11. I loved how you built the suspense and even the suggestion of horror before that hilarious last line. We’ve all had walks/staggers home like that one πŸ™‚

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