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And so, here we are again (Friday Fictioneers)

January 12, 2017


Tracks run in every direction as far as the eye can see. The thing is… they never actually lead anywhere. They take you back and forth in a long, long circle but ultimately, they bring you back to where you started. It’s a journey of no end. An endless parade of carriages and sweat stains, stinky unwashed people and heavy perfume. Of chatter and laughter, silence and sadness. The despairing workers surround you, unhappy families returning home or trying to get away. A train car is a microcosm of life—it’s hell, in a tiny space with no fresh air.


Word count:100

Its a different one from me this week. A little taste of reality. 

Trains are a particularly sore subject with me this month. My train line is experiencing “improvement” works which basically means my usual one hour trip has become 1.40hrs and means three changes… In summer! Each way.


This is a Friday Fictioneers prompt

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  1. Wow, Laurie, that was acid! I loved the little fantasy you created of all the train tracks leading nowhere but back to the beginning, But then isn’t it the journey that becomes important, not the destination?

  2. Dear Laurie,

    You painted a vivid picture with your words. Don’t we all feel that way at times, too. I could see this being the intro to a longer story.



  3. gahlearner permalink

    This is great. The perfect description of the treadmill we’re all in.

  4. We don’t have to complete the circle. We can always get off somewhere and stay off. But few of us do. Nicely done.

  5. Very descriptive imagery here. Loved the endlessness that was conveyed. Do we have the option of deboarding, don’t we?

  6. Great writing – I can sense your frustration at your train journey!

    • Thanks Iain… it also says a lot about the douchebags who take the train. When they race for the bus they don’t care who is in their way… some people really show how selfish they are in these situations

  7. michael1148humphris permalink

    Heck I hope your train provider and his customers do not take over my local service, 😉

  8. Sorry about your train problems. I can imagine it is quite a pain.

  9. I think this is one of your best FF submissions. Absolutely loved it.

  10. Hmmm. He is fed up with the circle of life. Good one!

  11. Dale permalink

    Talk about being stuck in a rut… We all do at certain moments of our lives, don’t we?

  12. I like the idea here of the microcosm of life in the train and that despite the fact we think or even dream the trains are taking us somewhere, ultimately we end up back where we started. Depressing thought.

  13. Makes me think of someone who’s stuck, dissatisfied.
    Sorry about your interrupted train trips.

  14. Perfect description of some commuter trains… the endless cycle of salarywork.

  15. Fortunately my days of commuting by train are long behind me, but I remember the experience well. You captured the smells and unpleasantness perfectly!

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