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Don’t lie to me (Friday Fictioneers)

July 20, 2017

Jack scooched further down on the leather seat feeling the skin on the back of his thighs pull dangerously. This was not his idea of a good afternoon. Or a good morning come to think of it. Twisting his head from side to side sent a spark of electricity through his spine.

His stomach growled at the same time as his phone trilled.

He felt around with one hand for the open bag of crisps while thumbing the screen of his phone on with the other. His gaze didn’t leave the house. “Hun? Yeah, the game was great. All nighter.”

 

 

This is a Friday Fictioneers prompt

word count: 100

 

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36 Comments
  1. Lovely multi-layered story, Laurie. So many possible explanations for Jack’s actions, ranging from the puerile to the sinister. Looking at your title makes me feel that Jack may be excessively jealous, and spying on his wife – but I wouldn’t be in the least surprised if I’m wrong! Great description, too!

    • Thanl you Penny! It could indeed be anything. I like to think the maybe he is spying but because he knows she is lying to him…

  2. Could be a hundred explanations, I guess.

  3. A stakeout? A stalker? Very good story.

  4. My reading is that Jack wanted a night to himself, a bit of ‘me’ time, but was too scared to tell his wife so made up some excuse! Maybe that says more about me….!

  5. So much great suspense in this story . Awesome!

    • Thank you Moon! He’s certainly waiting for something… i don’t think he’ll like the answers

  6. Dear Laurie,

    Someone’s definitely lying…but the who’s and why’s aren’t clear. Suspenseful piece. I could feel his discomfort. I loved that he ‘scooched’ down in the seat. Great word. Good job.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  7. Terrific, Laurie. This could go in a million directions.

  8. Intriguing tale, well told!

  9. Very well done!

    And you used trill! I love it when a great word is expertly placed. I just do.

  10. I enjoyed this amusing musing, which was not so amusing for Jack, me thinks. Nicely layered story with permutations to last all night.

    • Thank you!! What a great compliment. Thanks for reading. Jack does have a lot going on in his head

  11. Wow Laurie, Jack is not truthful to his wife so he’s either hiding something or perhaps spying on her. Not a very good way to have a marriage as it is sure to end in divorce. I wonder how they will split up their assets? Nan

    • You are spot on Nan and she is not being honest either. Its not going to end well thats for sure

  12. So, I don’t know whether to sympathize with Jack or with the person, presumably his wife, that he’s watching. In any case, I don’t anticipate a happy ending here.

  13. So many possibilities here, he could be spying because of her behaviour or because he’s paranoid. It might not even be her he’s spying on. Great stuff

  14. So he’s trying to catch her out? What a clutz – he’s telling lies too.

  15. This is good, Laurie. You leave a lot to the reader to surmise and from the comments above I see lots of different explanations. And I can definitely see that he’s trying to catch her out. Not a good relationship there.

    • Thank you Sascha ! I’m glad that worked. Not a good relationship at all… and no body wins when it hits this point

  16. Wow…lots of stuff left hanging… Hope to see this turned into a longer story! Well done!

  17. All I could hear in my head was the song “Don’t lie to me…” 🤣

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