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Better run (Friday Fictioneers)

September 19, 2019
PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

It’s been days.

Several of them… I’m sure… It’s hard to tell. I count the sunrises but fall asleep often so I might have missed one—or more.

Not natural sleep of course. The shot they give me with each meal contains something to keep me malleable. So maybe weeks.

I don’t know.

I find it hard to care.

My partner lied. He set me up. I should have expected it. We’re both crooks, thieves, liars.

Maybe he’s smart one. He knows I’ll come for him when I get out.

I twist my wrist beneath the rope.

He’d better run.

This is a Friday Fictioneers Prompt

You can read more of this weeks FF entries here

Word Count: 100

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  1. This would make a great opening for a thriller. If you wanted to experiment with this, you could mess up the sentence structure a little to show the narrator’s wooziness

  2. This is brilliant and crying out for a bit more! Catch him if you can…

    Here’s my story.

  3. Love to hear the backstory that led to her imprisonment. Somehow I think she’ll escape.

  4. Oh, excellent scenario for a continuation! Also, thank you so much for the lovely review of my novel, so pleased that you liked it. I swear I will read one of your novels eventually, I just need to find the time!

  5. Nicely done! It’s got a perfect suspense element to it!

  6. Ah, the thoughts of revenge are a powerful incentive to stay alive and get out. Well told.

  7. Dear Laurie,

    You’ve presented the reader with a real nail-biter. This feels like the first chapter of an interesting novel. Nicely done.



    • Thank you, Rochelle. A few people have said that… you are all so lovely. I might have to do a bit more.

  8. Your theme is all set. You could develop your characters and make this a longer story or even a book. You’d have to figure the details of the betrayal, too. Interesting.

  9. Good luck to her and bad luck to him.

  10. I have to agree with everyone. This definitely has the makings of a thriller!

  11. Honor among thieves… this is not an end but a beginning… makes me think of Kill Bill.

  12. That little story leaves all sorts of questions hanging, especially ‘Why are they keeping her alive?’ I hope you’re going to write a longer version…!

  13. I hope she gets free soon. He better run fast and far. She sounds like she means it. Well done, Laurie. —- Suzanne

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