Too late (Friday Fictioneers)
Fingertips frozen, breath a visible cloud before her, she bolted down the icy path toward the rendezvous hearing time passing with every beat of her heart.
She wasn’t going to make it.
She had to make it.
Feet skidding, she slid forward, pinwheeling her arms to keep upright. The streetlight came into view. She couldn’t see anyone waiting. I’m early? No, that couldn’t be right. She’d already been late when she leaped from the car to run into the park.
She dug her feet into the snow to stop.
Where is he?
A red dot appeared on her chest.
Fingertips frozen, breath a visible cloud before her, she bolted down the icy path toward the rendezvous hearing time passing with every beat of her heart.
She wasn’t going to make it.
She had to make it.
Feet skidding, she slid forward, pinwheeling her arms to keep upright. The streetlight came into view. She couldn’t see anyone waiting. I’m early? No, that couldn’t be right. She’d already been late when she leaped from the car to run into the park.
She dug her feet into the snow to stop.
Where is he?
A red dot appeared on her chest.
Shit!
Shit!
This is a Friday Fictioneers Prompt
You can read more of the FF responses here.
Word Count: 100
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Powerful writing…I love the image of “hearing time passing”
Thank you, Gwen! 😊
That red dot is never a good sign. Good action scene Laurie.
Right? Yeah she ain’t gonna make it. Thanks, Iain 😊
Red dot? She’s been chosen by the angels, maybe? Great build up of tension in this, Laurie
Thanks Neil, yeah she’s not gonna make it. But I’m hopeful someone will avenge her
looks like it was a trap, will she be shot? Looks of questions and a great piece of tension and suspense.
Thanks James! I love questions…
It’s coming up with the answers that’s hard hahahahaha
Skillfully written, the pace really racked up the atmosphere. Things are not looking too good for her.
Here’s mine!
Thank you so much, Keith 😊
You’ve written this with great pace. It’s exciting.
Thank you, Penny! 😊
Dear Laurie,
It took me a minute to realize the action is cycling. Adds to the tension.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle! 😊
Really effective writing. That dratted red dot!
Thank you! 😊
Excellent write, Laurie. You had me holding my breath!
Thanks Dale!
Sounds like my definition of hell, endlessly looping for eternity. Great idea for a story.
Thank you! 😊
You’re welcome 🙂
Hahaha you wrote a fabulous version, Penny!