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Too late (Friday Fictioneers)

January 30, 2020
PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

Fingertips frozen, breath a visible cloud before her, she bolted down the icy path toward the rendezvous hearing time passing with every beat of her heart.

She wasn’t going to make it.

She had to make it.

Feet skidding, she slid forward, pinwheeling her arms to keep upright. The streetlight came into view. She couldn’t see anyone waiting. I’m early? No, that couldn’t be right. She’d already been late when she leaped from the car to run into the park.

She dug her feet into the snow to stop.

Where is he?

A red dot appeared on her chest.

Fingertips frozen, breath a visible cloud before her, she bolted down the icy path toward the rendezvous hearing time passing with every beat of her heart.

She wasn’t going to make it.

She had to make it.

Feet skidding, she slid forward, pinwheeling her arms to keep upright. The streetlight came into view. She couldn’t see anyone waiting. I’m early? No, that couldn’t be right. She’d already been late when she leaped from the car to run into the park.

She dug her feet into the snow to stop.

Where is he?

A red dot appeared on her chest.

Shit!

Shit!

This is a Friday Fictioneers Prompt

You can read more of the FF responses here.

Word Count: 100

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23 Comments
  1. Gwen M. Plano permalink

    Powerful writing…I love the image of “hearing time passing”

  2. That red dot is never a good sign. Good action scene Laurie.

  3. Red dot? She’s been chosen by the angels, maybe? Great build up of tension in this, Laurie

  4. looks like it was a trap, will she be shot? Looks of questions and a great piece of tension and suspense.

  5. Skillfully written, the pace really racked up the atmosphere. Things are not looking too good for her.

    Here’s mine!

  6. You’ve written this with great pace. It’s exciting.

  7. Dear Laurie,

    It took me a minute to realize the action is cycling. Adds to the tension.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  8. Really effective writing. That dratted red dot!

  9. Excellent write, Laurie. You had me holding my breath!

  10. Sounds like my definition of hell, endlessly looping for eternity. Great idea for a story.

  11. Hahaha you wrote a fabulous version, Penny!

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Friday Fictioneers – Red Dot of Death – Autumn Leaves

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